Playing with Fire Movie Review
So before this very PAG rated movie began in a theater filled with children. The theater accidentally ran all the trailers that were supposed to be attached to a more adult film. These were just some of the moments that I shared with a bunch of small infants.
Review Jo Jo rabbit they said. Review the Irishman they said. No says I. I will review the new American classic. Directed by the ought to work Andy Fichman helmer of such classics as who’s your Daddy, She’s the man, The game plan, Race to Witch Mountain you Again, Parental Guidance, Paul Blart, Mall Cop 2, Kevin James, Never don’t give up and playing with fire.
How can I possibly review a film for Martin Scorsese or Taika Waititi when a film like this is out in theaters right now. Side note I am reviewing both of those movies very soon. Georgia rabbit probably tomorrow. An Irishman when it comes to Cleveland on November 11. That’s when my screening as I haven’t seen it yet. I have no way to see it until then.
But today we’re talking about playing with fire. A new film starring John Cena which is about a firefighter and his crew. They rescue three children from a burning house and they bring them back to the fire station to await their parents’ arrival. And when the parents don’t show up, they have to care for these kids for a few days and they’re quite a handful and that’s the movie.
It’s really good, I must say. I’ll explain a scene that happens in this movie, so you can understand exactly what type of film it is. Johnson is asleep in his bunk bed in the firehouse and a kid comes up and wakes him up. It startles him, so he shoots upwards in bad hits his head on the top bunk. And because of that small jostling of the bunk, the entire bunk collapses on him.
Well, John Cena is trying to take care of these kids. The littlest amongst them warns him that she’s got to take a poo poo. And we’re greeted with the first of many scenes revolving around pope which is obviously the highlight of this movie. Children I’m sure are going to really love all of the poop scenes.
Not only do they have to have an entire scene in which John Cena wears a fireman’s outfit. That is supposed to keep nuclear particles out of his gas mask but can not come back to this child shit’s smell.
We get a second scene where John Cena, I’m laughing but it’s great trust me, is trying to take a shit in the forest but the child does not want to leave his sight. So he must hold the child like this right in front of his face staring into the child’s eyes while he shifts.
Trust me, this is the pinnacle of entertainment today. The film also has an entire subplot dedicated to my little pony. Which was another great thing that I experienced in the theater today.
In fact, a lot of them have to sit down and watch my little pony with the kids. And they like it so much. That they continue to talk about it. They talk about Equestria and all of the wishes of the various characters in the show.
And there’s a really tall bald guy with a beard. He’s very grizzled and manly. They call him acts because he always carries an ax around. But he doesn’t talk. He never speaks. They never hear him say a word. Even though I probably have to go through a very difficult and strenuous training regimen to get to be a firefighter and he probably had to say some things into applications go to interviews.
They never hear him say anything . Until of course he opens his mouth and sings an operatic version of the my little pony theme. No, I’m not kidding that is in the movie. And that happened.
If I were to realistically talk about issues with this flawless movie. John Cena has four shirtless scenes in this children’s film. And I think if I was 10 years old. I would have wanted to see his nipples a lot more than that. Especially since they’re so veiny and hard and boisterous.
I think as a child, I would have preferred to see a lot more of those nipples. That’s probably my only real issue with the movie. So it’s such a hard time working.
Realistically this is a really really terrible movie but I don’t really think it’s much of a surprise considering the filmography that I listed before doing this review. Considering the plots and the fact that this is very obviously an attempt for John Cena to perhaps reach a wider demographic towards younger kids.
The rock did it with the game plan. One of the movies that I just mentioned this guy directed as well and the tooth fairy which he didn’t direct. There’s always this attempt when you’re like transitioning from one thing to another to try to appeal to the broadest demographic as possible.
John Cena was also in blockers which was a more adult comedy that actually had some laughs. He was pretty funny in that movie. Here this is like the most pre-packaged odd 2003 movie, I’ve ever seen. This film feels like if you were 4 years old in 2003. That’s the demographic for this movie.
Playing with Fire movie is a slapstick family comedy where people get thrown into walls and poop explodes on the people’s faces and a child grabs a fire hose and gets flung all around the room. They really don’t make too many movies like this anymore.
So if you love those 2003 Chevy slapstick comedies, then this movie is right up your alley. When I review a family movie, that’s aimed at kids. I try to look at it and be realistic and the fact that it’s obviously not for me and it’s easy to hate on a film like this.
I talked about that in my review of door on the lost city of gold. I remember saying like most kids are probably gonna really like this and that film is actually working pretty hard to entertain children. It’s not a bad family movie. It’s really not. Even though, it’s really easy to like meme on that movie.
With playing with fire I actually think a lot of kids are going to be really bored by this. There’s a romantic subplot with John Cena and Judy Greer. There’s all these weird random shirtless scenes. One of him where he’s in the shower like scrubbing himself. I’m not seeing little kids being all that interested in that.
And I would say the movie’s biggest actual problem, is that there really isn’t that much fire fighting it. There’s very little fire fighting which I think is potentially the best thing for a kid to see who’s young to see like these heroic figures in the movie being firemen and actually like doing things that real firefighters do.
But they’re such a superhero edge to the way it shown. They like, fall out of the sky with epic music. They even refer to themselves as superheroes at one point. It’s not taken seriously at all and that’s kind of a missed opportunity to show kids just how great firefighters really are. Because they kind of just make them look like cartoon characters, which is a disservice to the actual work that’s being done.
And Judy Greer’s character is a scientist that’s obsessed with Toads. Hence John Cena as a firefighter who is obsessed with fire. And so as these characters come closer together they have to like struggle over talking about toads and fire. I’m just seeing all these small infants like, drool hanging out of their mouths just really bored out of their god damn minds.
I was right there with the kids. I’ve been sitting here for like two minutes how can I even great this. I can’t grade this movie. I can’t grade Playing with Fire movie. It’s too perfect. The film is going to inspire generations.
One when I sit down and think about the movies that I want to make. I think about movies just like this. I think I can’t wait to set up a camera or John Cena rips off my little pony shirt. That is exactly what I want to do with my life. That’s the legacy that I want to leave behind.
How can I grade a movie that does that flawless. That understands exactly what I want to do. How can I possibly grade a movie like that. It’s it’s just not possible this film is ungradable level. It’s too good.
You’ll stand up and cheer. It’s so good. You will actually stand up and cheer. That’s how good this movie is. If I were grating this movie out of a pure like meme level of enjoyment. It’s like a 10 out of 10 perfect flawless. I loved it. I laughed so hard at so many parts and I’m sure that the people around me thought half that guys really entertained by the shitty movie.
His standards must be really low but I was just having the time of my life. As an actual film, it’s obviously an F but I just don’t want to grade it. I don’t. I’m not gonna call it that. Because I don’t have the clips. I can’t show you any footage. I can’t really dissect the movie but damn I want to. I’m satisfied now I can’t grade it. It is too perfect.
guys thank you so much as always for reading my Playing with Fire movie review. I’m gonna review Georgia rabbit probably tomorrow or the next day. and I’m seeing the Irishman on the eleventh really obviously really excited for that one. See you next time with another movie review.